Couples Therapy: Do You Have to Talk About Sex?
People consider couples therapy for a variety of reasons. Whether you feel like your relationship needs some help or you just want to boost your bond with your partner, therapy can be a great way to feel closer and learn some new strategies to implement.
But, it’s not uncommon for people to have some misconceptions about couples therapy. Specifically, you might be worried about sensitive or “private” topics that might arise — including sex.
Thankfully, you don’t have to talk about sex — or anything you’re uncomfortable with — in couples therapy. While sex is an important part of a healthy relationship, it’s not everything, and if your sex life isn’t causing issues, don’t feel obligated to discuss it at length.
With that in mind, let’s take a closer look at what you should consider if you’re on the fence about discussing your sex life, as well as what else you might cover in couples therapy.
Should You Talk About Sex?
Maybe you’re not completely opposed to talking about sex, but you’re not sure whether it will make a difference. When you’re making those considerations, think about the role sex plays in your relationship. If you and your partner are on the same page about your sex life, you probably don’t need to bring it up.
It’s also important to consider your comfort level. Maybe you’ve had negative or traumatic sexual experiences in the past. You’re okay talking about those things with your partner, but until you develop a closer relationship with your therapist, you might not want to open up about sex, and that’s okay.
Finally, consider your history and culture. Maybe you grew up in a family where things like sex weren’t often discussed. Or maybe your culture doesn’t openly talk about physical intimacy. A therapist will never force you to divulge something that makes you truly uncomfortable. They are there to help.
What Are the Benefits?
If you’re still considering talking about sex in couples therapy, it can be good to know some of the potential benefits.
First, it can help you learn more about your relationship issues. Again, sex isn’t everything. But, if your sex life has changed recently, it could be a sign of other underlying problems in your relationship.
Opening up about your sex life can also give you the opportunity to express your needs, wants, and even your frustrations in a safe and neutral setting. Your partner can do the same, opening up a conversation the two of you might not have on your own.
Finally, talking about sex can actually help you learn more about your own sexuality. Maybe sex has never been an important topic to you, but you’ve also never felt the satisfaction you think you should. Opening up about those things in a healthy setting with someone who can provide guidance can serve as a learning experience for you and your partner to improve your sex life together.
What Else Should You Talk About?
If you know you don’t want to talk about sex in couples therapy, don’t let that stop you from going. There are so many topics that can be covered, all designed to strengthen your connection with your partner.
Everything from communication issues to emotional intimacy can be covered in couples therapy. You can even learn how to resolve conflicts more effectively and to build trust in the relationship, even if you’re dealing with challenging circumstances.
It’s okay to have questions about couples therapy. Don’t let misconceptions keep you from getting the help you and your partner deserve. Feel free to contact me for more information or set up an appointment soon.