Trusting Love: A Guide to Letting Down Your Walls

Letting your walls come down in a relationship seems so easy for some people. But, it’s not always the case if you’ve been burned in the past. Or, maybe you’ve never felt like you could fully trust or open up to someone — even if you wanted to. 

If you’re in a relationship now and you want to let your guard down, you’re already taking an important first step. You’re recognizing that it’s okay to trust love, and that it’s important to let your partner in. 

But, wanting something and taking action are two different things. Thankfully, letting down your walls is easier than you might think with the right mindset and some baby steps. 

With that in mind, let this be your guide for letting down your walls and fully trusting love. 

Love Yourself First

You might be holding back in your relationship because of low self-esteem or even a lack of self-love. 

If you have a hard time loving yourself, consider the source. Maybe you developed insecure attachment issues as a child. Maybe you were in a harmful or toxic relationship that depleted your self-worth. No matter how much your current partner loves you, you have to be willing to love yourself fully before allowing someone else in. 

Self-love can take time. Start by implementing self-care practices into your daily routine. Meditate. Be more mindful. Write down your feelings in a journal. Most importantly, surround yourself with people who validate your feelings. 

Be Open and Honest

It’s not always easy to open up about your feelings, but it’s one of the best ways to take a wrecking ball to the walls you’ve built around yourself. 

Communication is so important in a healthy relationship, but it has to be honest. While vulnerability can be scary, it will allow you and your partner to become closer. Express your feelings, even if they’re confusing to you. Chances are, your partner will want to help you work through them while meeting your needs. 

Don’t Play the Blame Game

One reason why you might be guarded is that your expectations of yourself are too high. You’ll make mistakes in your relationship. Things won’t always go as planned. Your partner will make mistakes, too. 

It’s important to avoid the blame game when these things happen. Instead, consider how you and your partner can work through them together, showing grace to each other and problem-solving so you can move forward stronger than before. 

Be an Active Listener

Talking about your feelings and your needs is important. But, being an active listener for your partner is just as essential when it comes to trusting love. 

If you show your partner that you have a deep interest in what they’re saying and feeling, they will be more likely to open up. They’ll show vulnerability to you, which naturally builds trust in a relationship. You’ll soon realize that your partner feels safe with you, and you might be more inclined to feel safe with them, so you can open up more freely. 

Consider Counseling

Letting down your walls can feel overwhelming at first. It’s not something you have to do on your own. Consider working with a counselor or therapist to help you better understand why you have a hard time trusting love, to begin with. 

From there, you can work on healthy, effective strategies to let your walls down in your relationship, and strengthen your bond with your partner. You deserve to love yourself and have the ability to fully love someone else. Therapy can help. If you’re interested in learning more about couples therapy or want to set up an appointment, contact me today.