Am I Codependent?
Codependency characterizes an unhealthy or imbalanced relationship where one person's needs are prioritized over the other's. In codependent dynamics, individuals may enable harmful behavior in their loved ones by supporting them, even if it detrimentally affects their own well-being.
For instance, a parent may struggle to set boundaries with their adult child struggling with addiction, thus enabling their behavior and perpetuating the problem. This not only hinders the child's recovery but also puts the codependent parent at risk emotionally, mentally, and possibly even physically.
Codependency often arises from low self-esteem, an excessive need for approval, and difficulty in setting boundaries. Codependents often feel responsible for others' problems and take them on despite the personal toll it takes.
Where Does Codependency Originate
Codependency typically originates in childhood, often in environments where emotions are ignored or punished, leading to low self-esteem and a belief that one's needs are unimportant. Many codependents grew up in households where parents were unable to fulfill their caretaking roles due to addiction, depression, narcissism, or other issues. In such cases, children may take on adult responsibilities, caring for younger siblings and sometimes even their own parents.
While codependent behaviors may serve as survival mechanisms in childhood, they often hinder healthy relationships in adulthood.
Signs of Codependency
Some common signs of codependency include:
Feeling the need to "rescue" others
Low self-esteem
Imbalance in relationships with one person being overly responsible
Sacrificing one's own needs for others
Avoiding conflict and suppressing opinions
Martyrdom and resentment towards lack of reciprocation
Need for control and pleasing others
Difficulty setting boundaries
Remaining in harmful or abusive relationships
Feeling guilty when prioritizing self-care
If you recognize these signs in yourself, you may be struggling with codependency.
The good news is that with a commitment to personal growth and seeking therapy from a professional specializing in codependency, significant recovery is possible. This journey can lead to inner peace, fulfillment, and genuine connections with others.
If you feel that codependency is affecting your relationship with your partner, reach out to see how couples therapy can help.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conquering-codependency/202011/10-signs-you-re-in-codependent-relationship
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/codependency
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependency
https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/codependency/recovery